Spain Chronicles 2002 – October 7 – November 15

Written by Marianna Mejia

Freddie, Souren, and Marianna in Freddie’s room at the hospital

Freddie and Souren in Freddie’s room at the hospital

View of the church at sunset from between the slats in Freddie’s window

Freddie in the hospital feeling better

Freddie, Carmen, Marianna, & Manuel in Freddie’s hospital room. Carmen and Manuel are Chino’s parents. Chino’s father is Manuel Brenes, a well known guitarist. Manuel played guitar for Carmen Amaya in her company in South America.

Birthday present of Spanish dark chocolate from Christine and Ryan

Marianna and Freddie with Christine’s parents, Diane and Bruce Schwartz

Christine and her sister Brie

Monday, October 7, 2002

In the hospital with Freddie. I woke up this morning to Freddie’s shaking and chattering teeth. He said he was very cold although his body felt hot when I touched it. About five minutes later Ryan and Christine returned from taking Christine’s sister Brie to the bus station to begin her journey home. The helped me with Freddie. Then Freddie threw up his medication, liquid white. His shaking felt like a seizure and I think that Freddie, in his intense pain, just started gobbling his pills and not remembering that he had taken them. Ever since his chiropractic adjustment on Thursday he has been in tremendous pain as well as having the flu. Freddie’s shaking scared me and I remembered that Chino, his friend and current guitar teacher, had said that he had a relative who worked at a hospital and if we ever needed help to call him. So I called him. His father answered and said that Chino wasn’t there and that I should call an ambulance. He gave me the number. Then he called back several times until he knew that the doctor had arrived. When you call the emergency number for an ambulance, first they send an emergency doctor to assess the situation. The doctor, a woman, said that Freddie’s Vicodin in poisoning him. (They don’t have Percocet in Spain so she couldn’t evaluate that). They rarely use Vicodin here and when they do it is only for a few days at a time. How different doctors are from one country to another. The emergency doctor called the ambulance and Freddie and I arrived at the Hospital, Virgin de Rocio. Freddie was put on a stretcher with wheels and then waited along with the other people in stretchers in what he called the cattle room, a large room filled with people with medical emergencies and their families.

They took his temperature and he has a fever. They have done a blood test and now he is getting ready for an x-ray. This process started at 9:30 AM, with Freddie saying that he did not want to go to the hospital or to see a doctor. Now it is 1:45 PM.

Chino and his wife came to see us here at the hospital when they returned home from a job in a pueblo. They didn’t stay too long because they had left their little girl with the wife’s sister who works at the hospital and they didn’t want the child to be around the hospital for too long. I could understand that. I was very touched that they came. Freddie has been in pain and alternately sleeping. The doctor gave him a pill for his fever.

Just yesterday he arose from the dead and we met Ryan and Christine and Brie, (Christine’s sister who is visiting) for coffee at Carmela. Freddie felt better. Then the three of them, Ryan, Christine, and Brie, spent the night in our living room and early this morning they left to take Brie to the train. We had all gotten to bed at four AM the night before and Freddie had seemed fine, although he was groaning and tossing in the bed all night. Ryan and Christine returned about five minutes after Freddie started shaking. In this waiting room there are three people in wheel chairs who have oxygen strapped to their mouths. There are nine people in stretchers right now and others in wheel chairs, waiting. The bathroom is dirty with blood spots on the floor. People sit in hard blue plastic chairs. The lights blink on and off and the sound of cell phones ringing their cacophonous tunes adds to the din of people. But people are nice. One person waiting got us a sheet to cover Freddie with; another helped us find the bathroom. It is 2:30 PM. Concha and Rafael called and will come down here to help us in the hospital. Freddie is sweating profusely and is in pain. I have been here standing next to him, my hand on his forehead, wiping his sweat with the sheet for hours while he dozed, but he is awake now, waiting. He groans in pain. I brought a book, Queen of the Gypsies about Carmen Amaya, but have not read a single page yet. I didn’t want the Spanish hospital experience! What a difference from Dominican Hospital in Santa Cruz. But still, this is more people oriented. Freddie’s urine specimen didn’t even have his name on it, but they were waiting for it when I brought it to them. Sala de urgencia (the waiting room for urgent care). The mass of people. Will the beautiful young girls here look like the older people some day, fat in shapeless dresses, humped backs and dyed hair? More people come.

I try to take in the black tar of human suffering — there is so much here. Worried relatives sit or stand with their loved ones, waiting. Freddie drifts from pain back into sleep. He didn’t remember throwing up this morning. I wish I knew the answers: what to do when he is sick, in pain. Paco thinks he should go to Jesus the acupuncturist but Freddie doesn’t want to. He didn’t even want to come here or to go to a doctor. The relatives wheel the patients to and fro. And I am tired. Where do the rich people go? Concha and Rafael are here now. Concha says that this hospital has fantastic doctors, the best. I am glad. All the tests are in and we are waiting to see the doctor to know the results. It is 3:10 PM. And Concha has to teach at 4:00. Hopefully she will be able to translate the Spanish to Spanish that I can understand better when we talk to the doctor to find out the results, which should be soon.

Concha had to leave before we saw the doctor. She took a taxi to La Carboneria and Rafael stayed with us. Rafael says this is one of the best hospitals in all of Spain.

Esperanza, Concha’s sister came to the hospital to see her niece Esperanza Fernandez, who just had her second child by Caesarian section. The niece had been discharged this morning but Esperanza saw Concha leaving the hospital and worried that her sister had had another attack of high blood pressure. But Concha told her that she was here because of us so Esperanza went to the sala de urgencia to see us. Then she will go upstairs to the oncology unit to visit her husband he was recently hospitalized for advanced cancer. 5:00 PM. We are now upstairs in the trauma unit. Freddie’s tests were OK but his spinal column is bad and the emergency doctor, a very nice blond, short, haired young woman, referred Freddie up here to wait for a specialist’s opinion. She said that the Vicodin is bad for the bones and that he seemed to have a lot of osteoporosis. The little bit of medication she had given Freddie before for pain, this morning when we first saw her, has worn off and he is groaning again, still on his stretcher with the bars that look like rusted old bicycle parts.

Concha went to teach her three group classes and luckily Rafael stayed here helping us. The nice blond doctor who gave us the results did not know how to talk slowly so it was good that Rafael was there to clarify things. Freddie and I haven’t eaten all day and I have been on my feet, standing most of the day after only five hours of sleep. I feel shot. 6:45 PM. Rafael took me out to eat when Freddie went into “observation”. They will give Freddie intravenous pain medication and observe him for a few hours. At 8:00 PM they will give us an update. Probably he will spend the night in the hospital. Rafael went to pick up Concha after her three group classes. Since her show everyone wants to take classes with her. Chino called to see if we needed a ride home. I am touched. Freddie could have an operation here, at no cost, but I think he will wait until he returns home. 8:11. Waiting for the observation visiting room doors to open. This is a non-smoking hospital, better than the Israeli hospital that my mother died in. Hoards of family members crowd and wait with me around the closed doors that were supposed to open at 8:00 PM. I am sleepy.

Tuesday, October 8, 2002

Rafael took me to the hospital today to find out how Freddie did last night. He slept after some fitful hours where the medication was not strong enough. You can’t call for this information, funny as it may seem. We go back at 1:00 to see him at 1:30. A nurse did take the hairbrush I had brought him. Hopefully he will come home today. I think Rafael’s day is spent doing good deeds. Driving me, cooking for relatives with relatives in the hospital, driving people to doctors, etc. And he does it with a smile!

Wednesday, October 9, 2002

Freddie is home. I now know why no one here wants to go to the hospital.

Thursday, October 10, 2002

I need to write about how we escaped the hospital and also my perception of the old stores dying out. As I was walking along Santa Maria La Blanca today to get some homeopathic medicine for Freddie, I noticed that the little store where I bought elastic and thread was gutted. There were workman inside and the old store obviously did not exist. It made me remember that since we h ave been here La Gloria, a little tiny Mom and Pop supermarket near Carmela has had its wrought iron gate closed over its door. Ryan and Christine said it had been closed since they returned in February. But, its sign, “La Gloria”, is still up. Last year the elderly couple who ran it were always there and the TV was always on. I think they lived there. It often stayed open until midnight and was a good place to get water when our friends’ store was closed. When we arrived here in 1999 I visited the store farther on down the street where I had bought my purple knit sweater in 1980. The next year it was closed. This year there is a tourist shop in its place. I also noticed that the watchmaker’s shop on the other side of the street, a tiny hole-in-the-wall kind of place near the thread store, was gone. The old guard seems to be dying out or selling out. The face of Spain is changing. The generation cycles are continuing. I remember eating at El Cordobes in 1980. I don’t even know if Antonio ran it then or if he was still a boy. Then I remember his children in 1999. The little girl, Julia, was a baby. Now the children are grammar school age. The family continues. Will Antonio and Mercedes be an old couple, like the La Gloria couple, running their restaurant in the years to come? Will there children be working their, following the family tradition? Just my thoughts as I walked down this Spanish street in the crisp, clear sunshiny morning.

Now for the hospital escape story. But first, I want to say that tonight Freddie is back from the dead. Thanks to the many Shamanic journeys and prayers, the acupuncture, and perhaps the passage of time, Freddie is finally on the mend. He started to eat, meaning drinking broth, this evening. He has color again in his face and he no longer continually groans in pain. —So now the story.

I left off at observation. Freddie was given two choices. He could have a shot in the behind which may or may not have worked and go home. The second option, which he chose, was to have the pain medication injected directly into his blood. The doctor said that this would take the pain away instantly and he could be monitored for several hours and perhaps go home that night if it worked. It sounded like a good option. As I waited in the waiting room, I thought that probably Freddie is feeling much better and has befriended all the nursing staff. I pictured him laughing with them and telling jokes.

When they finally let us in, half an hour late, at 8:30 PM, the staff was bringing in dinner. Freddie was lying on a bed in the middle of the floor groaning, with two tubes in his arm attached to two bottles. You could see the saline bottle dripping, but the pain medication bottle looked almost full. Freddie’s uncombed white hair frizzed out like a maniac’s hair, uneven and ragged looking. His unshaven beard and crazy-with-pain eyes made him look like a street derelict. He was yelling about the prejudiced bitch nurse who wouldn’t come to adjust the pain medicine bottle. Apparently it kept sticking and the nurse kept saying that the medication had to be dripped in slowly. I started to feed Freddie but he couldn’t eat. I tasted the food and it was the worst hospital food I have ever tasted. It had absolutely no flavor at all. He ate a few spoonfuls of watery rice soup and the canned peaches. We asked to speak to the doctor but none came. They said that now they had adjusted the medicine flow and that it was working. Concha and Rafael were there. Concha talked to the bitch nurse who explained that the flow had been purposely slow. I believe she was lying because the doctor had said that the purpose of Freddie being in observation was so they could monitor the strong pain medicine they were giving him. Whatever was in those bottles was not touching his pain. Much to his distress we left him in the hospital after the staff promised they would strengthen the medicine or the flow of it.

The next day Rafael picked me up at 9:00 AM so we could go to the hospital to find out how Freddie was. I packed his hairbrush. In this hospital it is impossible to call for this information. That was hard for me to believe and I kept asking different people but it is true. You have to go there at 9:00 AM to get information but they don’t let you see the patient until visiting hours start at 1:00 PM. The nurse at the information window recognized me and told me that Freddie had had a hard time at first but was doing much better and had slept, something he hadn’t been able to do the night before at home. She had a lovely smile and I asked her if she could take his hairbrush to him and she immediately left to do it. (I hoped that if he combed his hair and looked a little more presentable perhaps he could get a little better service from the staff). We waited for her to return but she didn’t. I like how the Spanish remember people. I don’t think that would have happened in the US, especially at a county hospital (which is the equivalent of the free hospitals here).

We returned with Concha at 1:00 but of course we had to wait until they brought in the lunch at 1:30 before they would let us in. By this time they had moved Freddie’s bed to the wall. Freddie was still in agony and would not touch his food. He had to beg for water. We finally got to talk to the doctor and we told him that Freddie wanted to leave and since they hadn’t helped his pain that we wanted to take him home. The doctor said that he would not release him until the pain was gone. We made such a stink that they stopped the analgesics they were trying and went directly to the strongest medicine they had, morphine. The first dosage wasn’t enough but the second one helped. To get this far Concha had to speak so strongly to them that her blood pressure went up and she got dizzy. She extremely upset seeing Freddie in so much pain. While we were waiting for the doctor to return visiting hours ended. We said that we would not go until Freddie came with us, but finally it was 3:00 o’clock and Concha had to leave so she could teach her 4:00 o’clock class and the next two as well. Rafael was very worried about her so he left with her so he could be with her and drive her. I sat with Freddie. When I went to the nurse to ask for water for him she told me that I couldn’t stay there, that I had to leave. I very sweetly told her that I was not leaving until I could leave with Freddie. I explained that there had been the two options and that he did not have to stay there. Then Freddie tried to get up, still attached to the tubes. He started to yell at her that he was going with me and she backed down and said I could stay and went to find the doctor. I don’t know why they wanted to keep him, but they had figured that they could just get rid of me and not take me seriously. Finally the doctor came, looked at Freddie and left again. Finally when we got him back by bothering the nurses enough, he said that soon we could leave and that he would write a prescription for morphine. Then he came back and said that Freddie needed a social security number and that his number from the US wouldn’t work, although that is the number they used on the intake when I registered him there. I asked the doctor if I could use Rafael’s social security number and he said yes! I called Rafael and he agreed but did not have the number with him. The doctor said I could bring it in to him that night. Then he told me that he did not have any triplicate forms there needed for the prescription. I would need to come back before 9:00 PM when he was leaving and he would give me the prescription then. I would bring in Rafael’s number for him then too. Then he went off to look for some morphine samples for Freddie to take home for the night, since the pharmacies would all be closed. Freddie was so anxious to go that he got dressed and then stripped the bed. Most of the beds in the ward were the adjustable kind but this one was broken and had a slanted piece of plywood underneath it. That was why it had been so uncomfortable on his back. Finally the doctor returned with some blue pills and Freddie walked slowly and stiffly out the door with me to the sunlight of the evening. We caught a taxi from the cue waiting in the line there and went home to the cost of $5.00. It was 6:00 PM. Ryan and Christine had straightened the house and came in about 15 minutes later. Chino called and I asked if he could take me to the hospital at 8:00 PM to pick up the prescription. I did not want to spend another $10 on taxis. Chino, who is always very prompt and often early, arrived at 8:20 PM. There was traffic. I found out later that there was a soccer game and a workers strike and demonstration. We wove through traffic but had to stop to get gas. His car was on empty and the light was on! We did make it and I found the doctor and got the triplicate.

The next morning Ryan and Christine took it to the pharmacy for me and came back with three different medicines and unclear instruction on how to take them. None of them said morphine. One was for his stomach.

Freddie still looked green and refused to eat. His unshaven beard and dirty uncombed hair made him look like death itself. He had moaned all night. He threw up a little clear and white liquid. He wanted to go home to California immediately. Amy, our American acupuncturist friend who is in Sevilla now for several months, came over and gave him an acupuncture treatment for his back. But both his back and his stomach continue to hurt. He was still not eating. Rubina brought over some white fizzy powder for his stomach which seemed to help him a little when he drank it. Finally around 10:30 or ll:00PM Jesus, Paco’s master acupuncturist friend who worked on Freddie last year for his foot, came over. He had just come from his office after seeing people all day. Wednesday was his late night at work. Carmen M alpartida, our friend and landlord, came with him. So did Sergio, Paco’s artist son who works at La Carboneria. Jesus told us that Freddie should drink soy milk, not regular milk, so Carmen ran home to her house to bring us her carton of soy milk. Then she went home to cook dinner for her family. Sergio stayed with Jesus but looked very upset to see Freddie in such a state. Jesus worked on Freddie’s digestive system to regulate it. He told me to buy some homeopathic medicine to give him, which I did the next day (which was today). When I asked him how much his visit would cost, he said that he never made house calls.(except to Paco Lira) and that we could figure that out later. His main concern now was to get Freddie back to health. And Freddie looked awful. Rubina and even Concha were saying that Freddie had to go back soon and that I had to go back with him. Freddie kept insisting that he wanted me to stay but we all knew that he wasn’t capable of flying alone in this state.

It was raining when Jesus left. He had his raincoat and his motorcycle helmet and his cigarette. He lives in the country 23 kilometers from Sevilla so he had a long ride in the rain. He had done us a huge favor and was anxious to get back to his family and his animals.

Last night Freddie did a little better, but I awoke early to his moans. I got him some stomach medicine and water and went back to sleep. I didn’t know that a little while later he had thrown up. This morning I went and got the homeopathic medicine. Last night Jesus had asked me to get Freddie’s x-rays and his “historia” from the hospital. I called Rafael and he picked me up at noon. I had to go back to that hateful hospital and of course it was difficult there. They told me that I needed Freddie’s signature on their forms and a copy of his passport. And then they would mail me the things I requested. In tears I left and ran into to Freddie’s doctor who went back to records with me and tried to convince them. He and I both learned that the records were already in the archives, which were in a different part of the hospital and could not be released without Freddie’s signature. Then the people in “informes” suggested that I go to the director’s office on the second floor, which I did. Rafael was waiting in the car because he couldn’t find a legal parking place. The director then called back down to “informes” to find out the rules, it seemed. Then she said, because I was a foreigner and it would take a month to get the records, that I could fax her the signed form and the copy of Freddie’s passport and she would get the records sent. That was the best she could do. I could have requested the x-rays at the time that we left, but I didn’t know it or that I would need them right away. We had just been intent on escaping the observation ward!

This morning Chino came by and took the medication back to the pharmacy to get us instructions. Then I gave Freddie his proper doses, but Freddie said it didn’t help at all and that it hurt his stomach. Rubina stayed with Freddie while I was gone. I got home in time to take my laundry out to the asotea (rooftop) to dry and then to get ready for my first dance class in eight days. Rubina said she would call the airlines to see what I had to do to change our airline tickets to go home to the US earlier. Rubina bathed Freddie and washed his hair while I put in another load of laundry, sheets, and prepared for class. Rubina had said she could smell the vomit in Freddie’s hair! After his bath Freddie started shaking again, freezing, with his teeth clattering. We covered him with two blankets and I got a heat pack and put it on his feet and a towel around his wet head. He was really sick. Then Souren came by with a newspaper for Freddie and was shocked at how bad Freddie still looked. I was late to class. When I next arrived home, Ryan and Christine were there as planned, but Rubina was still there too. She and Christine had called all the airlines and had a lot of information. I needed a doctor’s letter from here to say that Freddie was fit to fly. I added that request when I sent the fax this evening, —another $5.00 expense. I then went upstairs again to hang the next load of laundry. When I returned Jesus was there. We had a long talk. He was upset that Freddie was taking the allopathic medicines, including some of the pain pills he still had left for the US. He is not supposed to use the fan or even the blankets. He almost didn’t treat Freddie again, but Freddie promised to abide by Jesus’ conditions. Jesus said that if Freddie didn’t, then the treatment wouldn’t work and his time would be wasted. I started crying in desperation at the thought of Jesus not treating Freddie because I didn’t know what else could be done for Freddie.

So Jesus did treat Freddie after all, this time for his back and his pain. And by the time the needles were out, Freddie had color in his face and no pain. Freddie drank a lot of consume today and tonight started on the soy milk. He is alive again. He even shaved.

Freddie had realized that a lot of his symptoms were the flu. I know that when Freddie gets sick he gets very sick. I have seen him do this for years. Now he is even thinking that he may not even have to go home early. That would be wonderful. I have already lost a week of classes and I would love to take more until the end of the month. Just before he got sick, Freddie was saying how much he loved Spain and that maybe we could change our tickets and stay another month!

He still has the flu and is not completely better, but at least he is among the living again.

Friday, October 11, 2002

Today Freddie woke up and couldn’t walk and so I made plane reservations to return this Sunday. We’ll be home Monday and hopefully Freddie will have a back operation soon after. I am packing us up tomorrow. The situation is serious.

Sunday, October 13, 2002 4:26 PM

Change of Plans-Freddie in Hospital here in Spain! III

We are no longer coming home as early as planned. Freddie was re-hospitalized Saturday October12, the day before we planned to leave. He couldn’t even walk that day or the day before.

Freddie has a massive infection of the left kidney and is now on drip intravenous medication and pain killer. He was hospitalized yesterday (Saturday). He cannot walk (not for 2 days so far) and he can’t sit up, and even turning sideways on his back causes pain, but he can do that now as of this evening. He had thought it was only his back but it is also this very bad infection. He might also have a small kidney stone in his left kidney and the doctor thought that perhaps he had chronic hepatitis because his eyes were so yellow, but they are better today so I don’t think so. His liver and spleen are enlarged too, which is not good, and of course his back is a mess which we know already.

I don’t know the kind of antibiotic he is on but it seems to be working. I think he almost died here just before we called the emergency. His eyes were rolling back in his head and he had white froth in his mouth. He had been shaking and cold and he seemed confused. His breathing got a little irregular or heavy and his heart rate seemed to go up. I put the Aroma Life essential oil blend on his chest and he seemed to calm down a lot. At the hospital they screened him for heart attack and stroke but he was fine that way, according to the EKG, etc. His eyes were yellow (they have since cleared up by tonight in the hospital) and he hadn’t eaten anything more than some consume and a little yogurt and fresh orange juice for a week. And his stomach hurt. He had lost his bladder control early that morning and had been peeing in the bed. It was scary.

I will write later of the ambulance experience and ride and then returning to that awful hospital because I am extremely exhausted right now and I don’t want to stay up later. I was too tired to check my e-mail last night so I called Max instead (so he wouldn’t pick us up as planned and sent a message to Amit through Max to postpone the chicken soup she was going to make) and I changed (put on hold) our hotel and taxi reservations in London. Rubina had already changed our plane reservations for Tuesday when we went to the hospital but Freddie won’t be out of the hospital by then so I have to call tomorrow to put it on indefinite hold. He has to be discharged from the hospital and he has to be able to sit and to walk to a bathroom in order to fly. And walking would be nice!!! I don’t know how he would navigate at home without walking. So he can heal in the hospital.

We want to see if Freddie’s insurance will cover his hospital stay in Sevilla. We want to transfer him to a private clinic (instead of the “county hospital” where he is). Our first choice is Clinica Sagrado Corazn. (They have an e-mail: info@cs.uspeurope.com. Their website is www.uspeurope.com.) It is supposed to be an excellent clinic and much less time waiting for tests, care, etc. than the hospital he is in now, the same one that I wrote about before. But now he is in a double room there in a more comfortable bed with better doctors, but several people who know (have experience with both places) have strongly recommended transferring him to Sagrado Corozon. He would get much better care there and much faster. For example, they would have gotten him in and started the antibiotics about 10 hours earlier! We left for the hospital about 3:30 PM and I didn’t return home until 2:00 PM that night. Most of that was just waiting in the “cattle room”. I wil expand on this later but I wanted to get this out to you now.

The faster Freddie is transferred, the faster he will heal and the less hospital time he will have. So time is of the essence. Freddie is currently in Hospital Virgen de Rocio.

I am so thankful that I have Max and Linda helping me at home to see if Freddie’s insurance will cover his stay in Sasgrado Corozon. I will call Monday to get the prices if the insurance doesn’t cover it. It is supposed to be expensive but I want Freddie to have the best care he can get !!!!!!

It is so nice to know that I have such dependable and loving help back home. I also have a great support system here in Spain that I need to write about later. I am fried and it is 1:00 AM here and I was going to get to bed by 12:00.

What a trip! But it is making my Spanish much better. I’ll write more tomorrow.

Monday, October 14, 2002 2:35 AM

In case anyone is interested. Freddie’s phone number in the hospital (calling from the US) is: 011-34-955-014-063. It rings in his double room. Please do not call after 10 PM Spanish time (add 9 hours from California). He can turn on his side today!!!

Freddie walked to the bathroom twice today (a real accomplishment because he hasn’t been able to walk for days) and sat up twice by himself and had a few bites of solid food (fish) and ate some squash soup. More later. Call him in the hospital between 10 and 10PM Spanish time (9 hours ahead) if you want. He is doing much better but does not yet have a definitive diagnosis.

He is taking two antibiotics: Tazocel every 8 hours (Piperaciolina) and Tavanic every 24 hours (Levofloxacino). Does anyone know what these are? They are working.

I am trying to get the other info you have requested and will get up at 7 AM and leave by 8 AM to catch the doctor on his/her rounds.

I just got home from the day at the hospital (11:30).

Wednesday, October 16, 2002

It is morning and I am at the hospital and the doctor has just made her rounds. They still only have the results of the first test, because everything takes longer in Spain. Freddie does have a kidney and possibly a urinary infection. But his urine has now turned from dark and smelly to clear yellow with no smell, so the strong antibiotics are working. They are new American antibiotics, which are supposed to be very strong. The doctors still don’t have any information on whether Freddie has hepatitis but his eyes cleared up the first day so I don’t think he has it, but we will see when the results finally come in.

The nurse told me last night that there was anemia but the doctor just told me today that Freddie is not anemic. I couldn’t get any numbers on the tests, but that would only be from the tests when he was admitted anyway, not his current state. He has had three or four blood tests since he has been admitted and we are still waiting for their results.

The doctor did tell me: The red count is down, the white count is high (normal for an infection). The lymphocytes are normal and the neutrofile is high. There are no white cells or blood in the urine. The biliruben level is a little high. That is as much information as I can get. I had to get up for two days at 7 AM to get to the hospital before 9 because the doctor comes between 9 and 12. Yesterday she came at 11:30 and today at 11:00.

Up here in his double room the vibes are good and most of the staff is very kind. The rooms are clean. I have gotten Freddie a low fat, low cholesterol diet, which is much better than the junk they started trying to feed him. But I buy him 0% natural yogurt and Actimel, a yogurt like drink. I am hoping to help restore the balance in his intestines. He has just started to eat solid foods again, but not much. I bring him in liquid vitamins and minerals and he is getting stronger. I have kept him supplied with bottled water and he drinks a lot when I am here to remind him!!! They save his urine to monitor it. We empty the pee jar by the bed into a larger jar that sits in the bathroom. Sometimes they throw it away when it is full, but sometimes, they say, the doctors want to test it.

Last night, though, Freddie had an accident. As he was trying to pee, his tubes attached to the metal pole with his medications hanging on it pulled the pole down and it fell on top of him. He reached up to try to catch it and re-hurt his back, which had started to feel better. Today it hurts and they have increased his pain medication to make him more comfortable. But aside from that, he is getting better. Although they might not have an actual diagnosis for him for four days to a week longer, the antibiotics are doing their job and the infection is going down. He no longer has a temperature and it is easier for him to sit up.

This morning he sat in a chair and shaved for the first time since he’s been sick. So poco a poco (little by little) he is improving. I brought the computer to the hospital this morning so I am sitting here on the side of the bed writing.

Outside it is now raining. I put the geranium I brought him outside on the windowsill by his bed because it was starting to die inside. Now it already looks better and today or tomorrow it will have some new red blooms. I see the dripping rain through this window. A green crane outside is still. There are many obras (building projects in this case) in Sevilla right now, more than I’ve ever seen before. I asked the taxi driver about it this morning, because so many streets are blocked and they have to find other ways to reach destinations. He said it is because elections are coming up. I guess that is the same all over! I see from this window palm trees, a bridge, a Moorish looking building, another yellow one next to it with tile roofs, and next to that a white building with more tile roofs. Behind it are some more modern square white buildings and next to that more yellow square and ugly buildings, in fact a line of them in the distance. And of course there is the beautiful brown church with tiled designs sin front of them, with its round white and blue tile Moorish looking steeple. Such a contrast outside. But white fog and rain —-and I didn’t have time to take my clean laundry in from the roof before I left! My raincoat is packed! I am half packed because we were trying to leave last Sunday and I haven’t had a chance yet to sort through the things and to pull out what I still need. But the bottom line is, I never thought I would be so happy to see yellow pee!

Our friends T. Mike and Sandra (a nurse) Walker answered our medication question. They wrote about Freddie’s drugs: “The two antibiotics he’s taking are both very new and very strong. The piperacillin (Tazocel) is sold here under the brand name “Zosyn”, while the Tavanic goes under the name “Levaquin” over here. They certainly seem to be bringing him around and Sandra says they are some of the best available.”

Thank you all for your caring,

The memory is fading now of the last ambulance trip to the hospital but I will try to recount it before it goes even farther away from my conscious memory.

The day has cleared a little and I see white birds flying in the distance. The cars pass on the suspension harp bridge outside. I hear the cars honking outside from the eight floor where we are. It looks like the rain has stopped and the birds flutter from building to building. The sky is still a blanket of white and grayish clouds but the colors outside are now vivid.

It was a sunny, crisp day the Saturday I was packing us up. I had only slept three hours the night before because I had awakened with the anxiety of how to get Freddie onto the plane when he couldn’t walk. I still thought it was just his back so I had planned on upping his pain medications that day to see if that would enable him to walk and then to sit in the plane. My mind whirred, but I had arranged with the airlines that if I could not pack in time, we could reschedule to the next day, so I felt OK about going methodically and taking my time. But of course caring for Freddie took time too. When Rubina and Rebecca (see last year’s Chronicles-a young American belly dancer friend of ours from music camp who is still living at La Carboneria) came, I had them care for Freddie and I went about sorting and packing.

Rubina bathed Freddie but did not wash his hair because I did not want him to get too chilled. We had a terrible time walking him to the bathtub and we both strained our backs. Then she got him back into bed, restraining her back again. But we had to bathe him because I did not want him to ride the plane soaking in urine. As I mentioned before, he had lost his bladder control but I did not yet realize how bad it was or how bad his condition was.

It was about 2:00 or 3:00 in the afternoon. Back in bed, Freddie began to shake and his teeth clattered again, like they did the week before when we had called the emergency and he had gone to the hospital the first time. At some point, as I also wrote, his breathing changed and he seemed like he was starting to convulse, although his tongue seemed OK. When his eyes started to roll back in his head and he seemed confused, we called emergency again. I remember standing on the balcony looking down the street, panicked. I remember begging Freddie, “Don’t die, don’t die!!” and we wouldn’t let him sleep or pass out. Amy, who is an American acupuncturist friend, was also there by then. First the EMT type person came but he was not a doctor and only ascertained that Freddie needed the ambulance.

The first ambulance that came was not equipped to move someone who couldn’t walk. It also could not get all the way into our street. Neither could the next ambulance. But that one had a stretcher of sorts. They strapped Freddie in with the bright orange straps (and left one in the house I later found out). Freddie was naked so they wrapped him in the bed sheets. Then they went to the elevator (we are fortunate to have on in our building). Of course he wouldn’t fit so they stood him on end and took him that way. When they exited the building they carried hi, down the block to the waiting ambulance. The brisk fall wind lifted Freddie’s sheet right off him as the neighbors were watching him, screaming in pain, being carried out the door. I had a plastic bag with his clothes and shoes with me in the hope that he would be able to leave the hospital that night. I later put his underpants on him in the hospital. Both Rebecca and I got into the ambulance with him. None of us were strapped in! Rebecca and I held on as the old rickety ambulance bumped and swerved, its siren blaring, to the awful hospital that we had never wanted to see again. He was seen almost immediately this time because the emergency medical personal had thought he was having a heart attack or a stroke. After they gave him an EKG and determined that his heart was fine, we had our long wait.

I kept some notes at this time, while we were waiting, which I will look for now and plug in here.

10/12/02

10:00 PM. We have been here in the cattle room of Virgen del Rocio hospital for six hours. We are still waiting for the results of the tests but we have now figured out why Freddie can no longer walk! (I have a splitting headache from lack of food) Last night I only slept three hours because I was planning how we could travel on Sunday and pack today. Then Freddie got worse and Rubina called the ambulance. Freddie was confused and peeing on himself and drooling with a white froth in his mouth. Then his eyes rolled back in his head and we were afraid he was dying. His heart was beating fast and his breathing …..

The doctor just called us in. Now we wait here. Freddie is more clear now, but his back hurts a lot and he can’t walk. While we have been here Rubina called Maggie at my suggestion (Freddie’s daughter) and Maggie called me here in the hospital waiting room on my movi. We are looking for information regarding Freddie’s hospitalization in 1990 at San Francisco General Hospital. He had a serious bone infection in his spinal column then, after he injured and herniated his disc, and the doctors at the time had said that the infection would go dormant and may reawaken again at any time. I asked Maggie to call San Francisco General for Freddie’s records in case our theory about the reoccurrence of this infection were right. She called both her mother (who had helped Freddie in 1990) and the hospital for information and more details about the infection and through some brave and strong maneuvering managed to get us the information and a fax number to request it for the hospital here.

We are convinced that this same infection is back and that is why Freddie hasn’t been able to walk for two days. It explains a lot. Freddie says he feels the same way that he felt with that infection in 1990. At least the doctor listened to us and will send a fax for the records. Unfortunately we’ve had the information that Maggie got for us over the phone for several hours and we’ve just been here waiting. At first the doctor did not even realize that Freddie couldn’t walk or even move and was just concentrating on Freddie’s hurting stomach as the primary symptom and was about to do an ultrasound on it. Freddie’s stomach hurts probably because he hasn’t eaten much for a week — a little yogurt and consume. It is the infection that is killing him.

Concha just called. I asked her to bring me something to eat; I’m dying of hunger. It’s hard to ask for help. Chino would have done it too, but I didn’t want to ask him.

Rebecca came to the hospital with us but had to leave to eat and to work. Rubina has changed our plane reservations from Sunday to Tuesday, but I still have to call the hotel, taxi, and Max when I get home. It is 10:35 PM. Again the family of the patients are nice to me. People are nice here but this me dical system stinks. Carmen Malpartida called. She found a private hospital for us but I don’t want to stop this process at this point. But if I had known we would have this much of a wait, I would have tried the private hospital first. It is near here, but Freddie can’t walk. I need help. I wish I had brought my book and my healthy candy bars. My phone is almost out of battery (calls from the States always drain it quickly). I didn’t even bring the right oils because they are packed. Rubina will put the sheets back on my bed. Hopefully they are dry. I put my sheets on Freddie’s bed after he peed on his sheets. Then he peed again. It takes two hours to do a small load of wash in the washing machine. Then you hang it on the asotea (roof). Today was overcast and damp and things were drying very slowly.

We don’t want Freddie to be here again, but they haven’t yet given him an antibiotic so he is not better. He is still in the sheet and underpants we brought him in at about 4:00 PM (or was it 3:30?) Freddie was slightly delirious and peeing uncontrollably since early this morning. Now he seems a little better. I think his body is trying to fight this infection. But he can’t even sit up or turn over!

 

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That was what I wrote in the hospital. Concha and Frasqui came and brought me food while Freddie was in for his second x-ray. The admitting doctor, who did listen to us, called in the Chief of Infectious Diseases to consult with him. This man was very nice and also listened. He had studied for two months at San Francisco General Hospital and goes to Chicago every year. He speaks English and has a style a little more like the Americans in terms of being willing to give out information on Freddie’s medical condition. It is he who gave us the tentative diagnoses I wrote about earlier. With him I felt that we were in good hands, although I don’t know if he ever followed through and faxed our request for Freddie’s 1990 records from San Francisco General. But they did do the CET test (called a TAK here) and from that determined that Freddie did not have an infection in his bones. But he certainly did have an infection, “muy malita”, very bad. The Andalucians add an “ita” or “ito” on to most things. It means little.

After this intake, during which Concha translated Spanish to Spanish that I could understand more easily, Freddie was sent to Observation (like intensive care). The doctor allowed me to say good night to him, which was good because I was able to request a bottle to pee in for him. The doctor told me to return at 12:00 the next day. Rafael, who had found a parking space by this time, drove me home. The next day I was let in to visit Freddie at 1:00 PM. Someone came into the waiting room and called out the names: Familia of …… And one by one the family members, only one at a time, were let in to see their loved ones. I was told that Freddie was ready to transfer to a room upstairs and that they were waiting for a bed. After about three and a half more hours in the waiting room (this time I had my book) I was directed upstairs to the eight floor, to 813 which is where Freddie still is. I was introduced to a very nice nurse name Paca who is one of his nurses. She likes Flamenco but not Cante Jondo (the deep, sad stuff). Further hospital research has revealed that, as the doctors and nurses have told me, here in Spain and much of Europe the public hospitals have the best doctors and the best and newest equipment because they have the most money. In Sagrado Corazn Freddie would have a private room and there would be a couch that I could sleep on. But now most people have assured me that although a private hospital is more comfortable, this public hospital is better for his health. Also, until we have a diagnosis we cannot transfer him, and by the time we get the diagnosis he should be well! If we transferred him before he got his diagnosis they would have to start the process all over again (apparently they don’t share information) and then Freddie’s treatment would be delayed and would take longer. So I guess we are in the right place.

Last night we had a very nice nurse named Debora who had lived in England a long time ago and still speaks pretty good English. Most of the staff here is very nice. In fact the Spaniards are friendly and everyone always greets everyone when they walk into a doctor’s office or here at the hospital or in an elevator. I like that very much and am adopting this custom. The old man who shares the room with Freddie is very sick and is waiting for an operation. I could not understand exactly what he had, but his pee bottle in the bathroom is rarely full and its color is always dark. He sleeps most of the time. His wife sleeps in the chair by his bed every night. She looks exhausted. He has been here for 22 days! Public hospitals seem to mean wait. I am now seeing the “cons” of socialized medicine although I am still in favor of it. I also found out that the old man doesn’t yet have a definitive diagnosis and may or may not need his operation.

Yesterday Freddie sent me home to take a nap. I dozed a little and rested. Then I went for a walk and bought the Clarins face products I had wanted to pick up in Spain before we left. (They are much cheaper here than in the US). I also went to a little dress store I know and bought a blouse. It felt really good to distract myself and to get my mind off all I have been through. Then I went to Rubina’s house for some fresh vegetable soup that was delicious. I had been starved. She walked me home and Carmen Malpartida and her husband Alberto came over to look at the plumbing. When Rubina had given Freddie a bath, water had started to fall through the downstairs neighbor’s ceiling! There is a leak in the overflow. The plumber came when Freddie was still at home and cut a hole in the wall and left a valve uncovered (Spain!). Alberto discovered this when he looked through the round plate sized hole in the white sheetrock last night. He was checking the condition because his insurance does not want to pay and he wants to be sure that they do, of course. Everything takes a long time in Spain. Rubina started talking to Carmen about how long it took to get the results of Freddie’s tests. I needed to get back to Freddie. Finally I just excused myself, caught a taxi and arrived at the hospital about 9:00 PM. Ryan and Christine were there. Rebecca and Alfonso (Concha’s nephew) had been there earlier when I had called. Freddie had been receiving calls from the USA all day and was exhausted. But he loved the calls.

I stayed until 11:30 PM and then went downstairs to leave. The door to the front reception room was locked and of course, the other exit I know, the cafeteria, was also closed. Finally I asked a man walking down the hall. He took me to another elevator that brought us to the emergency section and we were able to leave! I’m glad he knew.

I got to bed at 12:30, early for me, but got up at 7:00 AM so I could wash my hair and be here by 9:00 AM. I’m glad I brought my computer today so I could catch up on these details.

Our friend, Lucy del Gastor who is married to Juan del Gastor has just lent us her mobile phone for the duration of Freddie’s hospital stay. Now Freddie can call out of the hospital if I am not there. He can also receive calls on it: 001-34-646-561-465. I think the ring of this phone will jolt him less than the loud ring of the hospital phone, so try this phone first if you call him. Also you won’t have that annoying incessant beeping that the hospital phone makes, probably to keep people from talking too long! But, Lucy’s phone doesn’t have great reception we just found out when Freddie called Luis Agujetas. The sound was a bit muffled. So I really don’t know which phone to recommend. Take your pick. Two days ago I had run into Lucy on her bicycle as I left the apartment to go to the hospital. I asked her, as I have been asking everyone, if she knew anyone with an extra movi (cell phone) and she said that Freddie could borrow hers. The next day she sent her phone over with Ryan and Christine. We are grateful.

Here in this hospital you need relatives or devoted friends. We relatives do a lot of the work. We feed them, we bathe them, we help them pee, we empty the pee into the holding bottle, we empty the holding bottle when it is full after we get the OK, we help our loved ones walk and sit and change their pajamas. Today I helped Freddie take his feces sample. After that my job was to put the dirty “cua” in the “cuero”, to put the shitty bedpan. into the metal box in the wall by the toilet. Then you turn on the hot water and wait for about five minutes. It washes and sterilizes it. Then you take it out and put it in a green plastic bag in one of the racks by the toilet, the one labeled “2” for Freddie. I just learned this today. It is now 6:00 PM and again I am exhausted, but at least I have written this.

Thursday, October 17, 2002

Another day passes. Freddie is much better and can now sleep on both sides. My cousin Rosanne wrote to us with exercises Freddie can do both in bed and in the hospital so he won’t lose too much muscle mass. Christine has printed up Rosanne’s e-mail instructions for us. Some of the things she suggested are impossible, because we have not seen a walker here or a wheelchair with brakes or an automated medicine hanging pole. But we can adapt.

This afternoon Elena walked in, bringing the sunshine of her vibrant personality. She had just returned from being out of the country on business and when she reached La Carboneria she heard that Freddie was in the hospital and she came right over. She stayed until she had to leave for an appointment at 7:00 PM. We might collaborate on translating some poems she has written. She quoted me one and I wrote it into my computer (which I have here in the hospital again) and I immediately began to translate it. She will e-mail me others. There are many words already that I have to learn, the poetic words, and words from nature, such as moss. This will be excellent for me too. I will e-mail her the Chronicles when I return to the apartment tonight and then she can practice her English. Freddie and I both feel as if we know her already —she is that kind of person. We have already connected and we already love her, although we have so recently met her. It’s funny how you just click with some people.

The doctor told Freddie today that he will be here at least 15 days more because they cannot complete the diagnosis any sooner! Without a diagnosis you are not permitted to leave the hospital! But this will give Freddie more of a chance to clean out the toxins from the horrible medications he has taken for so many years: Vicodin and Percocet. Apparently the Tylonal in them has damaged his liver and spleen, hopefully not permanently. His face looks better and better, relaxed and with good color. He is still on intravenous pain medications but the doctor now understands that he must be prepared to travel on the airplane for eleven and a half hours (London to San Francisco leg). I am not sure exactly what that will mean but it is good that she is aware of his particular needs. Freddie wants me to continue my dance classes and I am trying to figure out how to do that and to continue to stay with him in the hospital as well.

It feels as if the crisis has passed and now is the stage for recuperation. He is eating more and more solid foods. He ate almost all his chicken breast today at lunch, the big meal here in Spain.

Friday, October 18, 2002

I took a class with Concha today, my first since this all started. I didn’t get to the hospital until the afternoon because of it. I really missed being with Freddie but I loved having a class again.

Inspired by Rosanne, who called me again while I was at the hospital, I took Freddie for his first walk! —Down to both ends of the hall. We got the nurses to find an old “walker”, nothing like in the States. They also found us a medicine pole with better wheels, since Freddie is still hooked up intravenously. Freddie walked to both ends of the hall with two rests on the seat of the walker. This is a good start.

Monday, October 21, 2002

I arrived at the hospital today and Freddie is still out having an MRI. He had x-rays yesterday. He is doing fabulously today.

Saturday he had a bad day though. That day a friend had told me to get him home quickly because she was convinced that although he was improving daily, that there was something very wrong with him still, that only American doctors could diagnose and fix. She had not seen him since he entered the hospital but had seen him just before, when he really was in terrible shape. I shared this with Freddie thinking that Freddie would laugh with me, but he said instead that he agreed with her and that he felt his infection now spreading through his body, He said that now the pain in his back was different, and he was convinced that the infection had spread to his back. He said that he was afraid that if he didn’t get right home he would die. His voice was low and he was lying on his side. In the morning he said that he had awakened and gotten up by himself and brushed his teeth. He knew he had to move and walk so he could get out and get onto a plane. He was also concerned about losing muscle mass. Rosanne had said that you lose 3% of muscle mass per day when you are lying down all the time! That morning Freddie had been even sitting in a chair for a while and feeling better but that now he hurt a lot. His voice and spirit were both very low; he seemed very depressed and I freaked out. I know that Freddie knows his own body and this scared me a lot. I called the nurses and insisted that a doctor come and I kept bugging them until the one doctor on call, who was with a sick patient in emergency, came. I told her exactly what Freddie had told me so they took another blood test and swore that they would have the results within four hours instead of in a week! Then they started with more antibiotics. I don’t know if they had stopped the previous round but I think they may have. They use antibiotics for a lot less time in Spain than we do in the States. After the doctor left, I grabbed what I could from the room. Loaded down with video camera, computer, a borrowed cell phone and charger, and various other things, I left in a hurry to call the airlines and to call Lainey (my wonderful and competent sister). I was crying and scared that Freddie would die. I felt alone and helpless. It is the first time that I have really broken down over this and I just came apart.

I called Lainey and spoke to her husband Ken. I called, crying hysterically, the airlines to get him an emergency trip with a bed back to the States. I found out that it is complicated to fly this way. I needed to fax to London for a form from British Air for the doctors here to fill out to say that Freddie is not contagious and that he can fly. Trip insurance, which we don’t have, would have covered a doctor to fly with us and all the other costs as well. Lainey will check with Freddie’s normal health insurance on Monday to see if they cover ambulance to the plane. I won’t go into all the details, but even the Spanish representative of British Air in Madrid told me that the public hospitals here are excellent and that probably Freddie should stay until he was well.

I was hungry but did not want to eat alone but I went to El Cordobes anyway and called Christine again from there. This time she answered her phone and she came down to comfort me while I ate. Then Ryan showed up. Rafael was making his debut singing at La Carboneria that night but I was too distraught to go to La Carboneria and Concha hadn’t called me all day. I hadn’t wanted to worry them, especially on the day of Rafael’s show, so I did not tell them of Freddie’s current condition. Concha’s blood pressure had been up and she had been feeling dizzy and had pounding in her head. Her doctor has now changed her medications, but when she worries about Freddie, she gets emotional and her pressure goes up. Luckily today she has been better for two days.

Our American friend Josh (who now lives in Granada) (see 1999 Chronicles for how we all met) and his Spanish girlfriend Regina showed up and found me at Cordobes. They had called earlier and told us they were coming to Sevilla from Granada to visit Freddie.

After dinner they walked me home and I started to sort more things and pack things and to write a new letter to fax for Freddie’s records from San Francisco General Hospital because I don’t think this hospital ever sent the fax we had prepared for them. At dinner, Christine had come up with the brilliant idea that she would get me some boxes from La Carboneria the next day and I could pack some of my heavy things and she would mail them on Monday. I don’t know why, but that lifted my spirits. I had been worried about manipulating four heavy suitcases by myself with Freddie on a stretcher! So with this sense of relief, I started to sort out which things I would mail.

The next day when I called Freddie he was much better. When I arrived at the hospital he said that he thought this reaction the day before was all in his head. It was either that, or it could have been the infection returning and the new round (if that was what it was) of antibiotics made him better. Josh and Regina came to visit and so did Carlos, a good friend of Concha and Rafael’s who Freddie likes to joke with.

Freddie has now walked up and down the hall a lot by himself. He is feeling better. The mad rush is no longer on, but we are still trying to arrange his transportation home. But this time I don’t think he will need either an ambulance or a stretcher.

Concha called yesterday. I canceled my class with her today because I needed to do some things. But when I am packed I will try to take more classes. Rubina called today to try to set up some practice time before I go to the hospital. I’ll have to see about it. Packing efficiently and without pressure is still my priority at the moment.

Freddie is standing at the window looking out at the pouring rain. How wonderful to see him standing. I’m glad I brought my raincoat to the hospital even if I am wearing my sandals. I did put socks in my purse but perhaps the rain and wind will stop by the time I am ready to leave. Josh and Regina are coming back in a couple of hours before they return to Granada this evening. Freddie wants an electronic toy and they are going to Corte Ingles, the big Spanish department store, to look for a Game Boy for him. All the kids here love Game Boys. I haven’t a clue about them! I hope Freddie will be able to figure it out!

Regina has a family friend who is an Oncology doctor here. She called him last night but he wasn’t home. If she can reach him, it will be nice for Freddie to have a medical connection here. Perhaps we can speed up the results of his tests. He is anxious to leave.

Last Saturday before I knew that it would be a bad day, thinking I would be here for two more weeks, I bought a second geranium for me, to put outside on my balcony. I have wanted to do this since we arrived here at the apartment in Spain and now I have done it, although we will probably leave earlier than I thought. But right now I don’t know when. I sent the fax to British Air in London and am waiting for the correct form to be faxed back. Meanwhile my pink-almost-red geranium is blooming on the balcony. Freddie’s geranium almost died in this hot stuffy hospital but since I put it outside on the ledge it is coming back, but still it has not bloomed again. Freddie says that when it blooms he will be better. Maybe this rain will help it.

Freddie wants me to write about the big wind yesterday and his roommate’s reaction. Diego, Freddie’s roommate, is 79 and his wife Carmen is 69 and they both look younger. Carmen sleeps here in a chair with her head on the edge of the bed holding Diego’s hand every night. They still don’t know what is wrong with Diego and they are waiting for a diagnosis after about 23 days. The have been married for fifty years. Carmen was fourteen when they got together. Diego always has a kind smile on his face, even when he is sleeping. His wife loves him a lot, that is evident watching the together. We are all beginning to communicate more and more. They are enchanted by our wedding photo on my computer.. Freddie now trades food with Diego and Carmen. Freddie wants to take their picture and when he does we will put it up on our web site.

Yesterday their family, who live in Cadiz, which is about 2 hours away, came to visit. Diego and Carmen had been waiting for this important visit for a long time and were looking forward to it. Here in Sevilla they only have Diego’s sister Petra for support. The family finally arrived and soon after Diego started to shake uncontrollably. He was freezing and seemed to have a sudden fever. We shut the window that was only slightly cracked open but this didn’t help. The nurses came in and started to fiddle with him and gave him injections. The family left after about only 15 minutes of this distressing visit. I was standing at the end of Freddie’s bed (in line with Diego’s head) and I felt a cold draft on my legs, as if a strong fan were blowing cold air on me. I opened the bathroom. door and the wind almost whipped the door out of my hand. I discovered that the bathroom window had been left open and the wind was coming in underneath the closed door. Of course I shut the window and about ten minutes later, after the visitors had left, Diego returned to normal. We found out later that there had been a hurricane in the north and that this wind was part of that.

I almost forget to write that Freddie is drinking a lot of water and is peeing about. Now they are doing tests on him to see why he is peeing so much. They say that he pees more than he is drinking but that his skin does not feel dehydrated. I am hoping it is because his body is busy flushing all the toxins out.

Wednesday I will be 58!

Tuesday, October 22, 2002

Newest update, medications, and possible change of plans — again! I got up at 7 AM again today so I could arrive at the hospital at 9 AM. The doctor arrived about quarter to eleven! But, I did get to talk to her. The blood tests of Saturday revealed that Freddie had an infection: Estreptococo, which I assume is strept something. They have now changed his antibiotics. He is taking “Vamcomicine” and “Pip-tazobaltam”. The nurse just showed me the bottles because I wanted to check my interpretation of the doctor-assistant’s writing. The bottles say: Tazobactam (Pipercallina) and Diatracin (Vancomincina). So maybe Freddie was feeling a new infection on Saturday after all. Now he feels great.

The night before last Freddie talked to his son Manolo, who lives in Nevada. He said, “Pops, you’re kicken’ and now you’re going to have to kick this other one” (meaning the morphine-like intravenous pain medicine that Freddie was on in the hospital). Freddie says that all he wanted to do at that moment was to be in Manolo’s arms. Freddie has realized that he had been addicted to the Vicodin and Percocet and as I wrote earlier, had gone off them cold turkey. And then he started to worry about this pain medicine, which the doctor told me today is “Mocotil (Metamizol)”. That night he asked the nurse to give him less and thought he had had half. He didn’t sleep well that night but got up and walked around when he felt pain and this helped! The next morning he found out that he hadn’t had any pain medicine that night! Yesterday he asked the nurse for a little so she put the drip on the slowest possible position but soon Freddie said he felt himself floating and sleepy. Luckily he doesn’t like that kind of high and finally he just asked the nurse to turn it off. She did. Last night they disconnected Freddie from the intravenous food (glucose, etc.) because he is now eating very well and normally and is having normal bowel movements. With the removal of this liquid he is now peeing normal quantities. That solved that problem! Now they just put his tubes in to give him his antibiotics every 12 hours! The rest of the time he is “disconnected”. He said that last night, with no pain medicine whatsoever, he got his first great full night’s sleep since entering the hospital. The only thing that disturbed it was when Diego fell out of bed.

By the time I arrived this morning at 9 AM Freddie had showered and shaved and looked great. His eyes and skin are clear and healthy looking and he says he feels a lot better than when he left Santa Cruz!

The doctor is waiting for the results of the MRI, which she should receive in a few days (not a week, she promised). But, she wants to do a test (its name escapes me now) to see if he has a bone infection in his spinal column. It is not the TAK (CET) that they did before that was supposed to determine that. Things are still confusing here, but at least the doctor’s assistant is writing down the names of the medications for me.

I also gave the doctor the form from the airline to fill out and sign. She has it now and hopefully she will complete it and not lose it or space it out. She says that it should be a week more here to complete Freddie’s antibiotic treatment and to get the rest of his test results. Today Diego’s wife Carmen pointed to the man in the next room and told me that he has been here four months! He can’t walk, she said, but I don’t know why. I think he too is waiting for a diagnosis!

Anyway, Freddie feels great and now is thinking that he might not have to come home early. I will call the airlines again. —How confusing all this is. But I am so glad that Freddie is feeling so much better. And I will keep everyone advised of our newest plan when Freddie finally gets out of the hospital.

Chino’s parents, Manuel and Carmen came to visit us today. They had a difficult time finding us, because here in Spain people have two last names, that of their father and that of their mother. Since the hospital took his registration data from his passport, they used his middle name, Anteola, as his first last name. So when they asked for Federico Mejia, they couldn’t find him. He is listed under Federico Anteola Mejia. Their son Chino (Freddie’s current guitar teacher), they say, turns white when he visits a hospital. Chino has only visited us twice here. They are very sweet. We hadn’t actually met them before, but Manuel, Chino’s father, has been phoning often to see how Freddie is. Carmen, his wife, came with him even though she has a broken foot. It is in a cast and the doctor told her not to walk for two weeks. But, she defied the doctor’s orders and came with Manuel to visit us. I guess they were both curious about us. They said that Chino talks about us a lot. Manuel is a guitarist and he played for Carmen Amaya with her husband and Sabicas in Venezuela! He was telling us what an electrifying dancer she was. He said to me, “She was short like you, but on stage he looked enormous because of her presence.” She danced like a man becau se of her strong and lightening fast footwork and because she often wore pants, but her upper body and hands and arms were like those of a woman. I have been reading Carmen Amaya’s biography, which I think I have mentioned, so it fit right in. Freddie studied Manuel’s nails and Manuel told us about a good Spanish product for guitar nails, which hydrates the nails. It is called Mavala and you can get it in a Perfumeria (a store that sells cosmetic products) here. We have heard from Chino that his father is into health foods and does not smoke or drink. I think he told us that his father is in his 70’s. Manuel is spry and alert and very present. And Freddie had the presence of mind to take a photo, which I will put on our web site soon. There should be a few new photos up very soon anyway because I just sent some this morning.

Chino, whose name is also Manuel, is called Chino because he looks Chinese. Interestingly enough, Carmen Amaya’s father was also called El Chino. Chino’s mother is Gypsy but his father is not.

Tomorrow we will celebrate by 58th birthday here in the hospital at 8:00 PM. Concha told me that she will bring a cake! We chose 8:00 PM because Concha finishes teaching at 7:30 and we wanted to be sure she and Rafael could come. Outside the door the sour cleaning woman who hates her job is shredding a sheet for rags. Diego’s wife Carmen was helping her for a while. When the cleaning woman came in to clean this morning we all said “Buenas Dias” to her but she didn’t answer us. I was trying to send her love (instead of disgust) but I don’t think she felt it. Now Carmen is singing to Diego. She shaved him earlier. We want to take a photo of them too but we haven’t yet. They just took Freddie for another test. They described it as one they do for pregnant women, but instead of the stomach they are looking at Freddie’s hea rt. When Freddie got into the wheel chair, he took off wheeling himself and the nurse had to catch him. Carmen was just laughing about it, recounting it just now! Freddie is so much better. (It is great that he is no longer constantly connected to his tubes). Carmen says that Freddie’s playful nature is how Diego is too, normally. Now Diego just lies in bed most of the time, although occasionally he is a little better and sits up or talks to us. Carmen has cranked his bed up like Freddie’s so he can look around a little. But right now his eyes are shut.

Saturday, October 26, 2002

Freddie found out some more information on the suspension bridge outside the window. It is not the “harp” bridge as he had previously thought. He received the information from the English-speaking doctor who had originally admitted him into the hospital this time. The doctor visited him yesterday and said that he had been keeping an eye on his case and had tried to get him a private room, but that the hospital was too crowded. It’s nice to know that there has been a guardian angel is this desert of a hospital. He told Freddie that the bridge is known by both the names of Pepito and Francisco. It was built in 1986 and meant to be a copy of the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco. It was built to commemorate Christopher Columbus’ discovery of America and is the last bridge that has been built over the Guadalquivir River, which divides Sevilla from Triana. He said that many people here do not know the name of the bridge or its history.

Freddie has a release date now of Wednesday October 30. For a while he wanted to stay in Sevilla for the five remaining days of our original trip and so I changed the tickets back to their original date. However, now he wants to come home when he gets out so I will try to pack some more on Sunday. I have been packing and partially unpacking for weeks. Freddie is counting down the days to his release, called his “alta” here. He is very ready to be back home in California in our Paraiso (Paradise).

Wednesday we celebrated my birthday in the hospital. Concha and Rubina brought a chocolate cake. Christine and Ryan brought the paper plates and plastic spoons that were left over from Christine’s birthday party. It was an intimate group and very nice. Rafael and Carlos (friend of Concha and Rafael) and Frasqui also came. Freddie carried cake out to the nurses station himself. Later on Rebecca and Alfonso, Concha’s nephew came. Alfonso has a car and so he drove me home along with Ryan and Christine. What luxury to go in a car instead of a taxi.

Thursday I took an hour and a half class with Concha and Friday I took two hours. I am trying to learn the palmas for my Solea and am making good progress. Each day my palmas improve and I am getting a great sense of how they should go and of how to do good palmas for baile, for dance. This is an art in itself.

I went with Rebecca to meet Juan “Farruquito” today and to watch his class. He is magnetic and very personable. I really liked the technique part of his class, but the Farruco’s temporary studio in the Macarena district is awful. A black dust comes from the floor and fills the room and I could not stay sitting on the sofa at the other end of the room. I had to get up and stand by the door because my eyes were clouding over and I was having trouble breathing. What a shame. Possibly we will arrange a dance class for him when he is in Santa Cruz in February if his schedule permits. He was interested. He is a great dancer and appears to be a good teacher too.

Friday, November 15, 2002

I haven’t had time to write but I need to. Freddie went back into the hospital (but here at Dominican Hospital in Santa Cruz California) last Monday. The infection had either returned or had never been completely eradicated! He is on massive intravenous antibiotics again. They finally put a shunt (called a “pik”) in his arm that goes up the vein directly to his heart so they can easily and quickly administer the drugs and this will enable him to go home at some point and continue the intravenous medication. Right now they are trying to decide whether to send him to a rehabilitation clinic around Monday or to send him home and have the visiting nurses come once a day. He will need to have his drugs administered four times a day. This may go on months. But at least he is in good hands and he loves this hospital. It is ten minutes away from our home and I can drive there (no need for expensive taxis)! What a difference from the Spanish hospital and medicine!

I haven’t had any energy yet to do any dancing here. We have been home a week since last Wednesday but of course Freddie wasn’t feeling well and stayed on the couch all day and night groaning. We didn’t get in to see a doctor until 9 AM Monday, the back doctor. He is very smart and said it sounded like Freddie still had his infection and to get a blood test immediately. We did and when the back Dr. got the results he called an infection specialist and got Freddie hospitalized that day! Neither Freddie nor I had realized just how sick he was. But that day Freddie had had trouble remembering his phone number and address. That should have been a clue! Anyway, we are both happy and relieved that he is finally is good hands and is getting better.

As of today, I haven’t even looked at my studio!!!!! But at least I am now thinking about it. I have been cleaning the house and putting things away, bit by bit, and of course visiting Freddie and seeing clients. Last night I was so tired I went to bed at 9 PM, just after I had eaten!So you can see that life has been a bit of a struggle since we arrived back here a week ago Wednesday. I have just learned that Freddie will get out on Sunday and will have visiting nurses visit once a day to change his IV dressing. He will have the “pik” in his arm and body for two or three months while he continues with the antibiotics. The infection is centered in his lower back, in the spinal column, because that is where he is weakest! And of course he is in pain both from the infection and also from his herniated disks in his lower back.

Hospitals are one of the few things that I hate about Spain and will keep me from moving to Spain permanently. I do not want to be “old” and sick in Spain, whatever “old” is. I don’t ever want to get stuck in a Spanish hospital after what I have seen with Freddie!


Spain Chronicles 2002

Aug 31 – Sept 18 Writings & Photos
Sept 21 – Oct 6 Writings & Photos
Oct 7 – Nov 15 Writings & Photos
Freddie is very ill, but doing better!

Update on Freddie’s Health, Jan 14, 2003

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Spain Chronicles
Flamenco Romántico en España
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