Friday, December 21, 2001, Winter Solstice

Aftermath

Freddie has made a tremendous breakthrough since we have been home. He can now play many of Carlos difficult but hauntingly beautiful falsetas cleanly and clearly and in comps. Suddenly his fingers work. He has shortened his nails again. His is playing with definite accents which bring the music to life. I believe that the comps with its heavy accents is a ritual for bringing excitement and fire to the music. It is a ritual that has been passed on by the Spanish Gypsies for generations and it works. Freddies music sounds great.

Since we have returned (just two weeks ago), we have been in the studio almost every day practicing. Freddie gets me to go in and practice and not take time off. I am glad, because I am working on many things in my personal style. At first I was afraid that I would get worse without Concha, that I would lose what I had gained in Spain. But as Freddie and I play music and dance together, I find that there are many many things I can clean up and make better and more precise. There are things I just need to practice over and over again, and this takes times like this, at home with just the two of us. It is a process of taking in and deepening what I have learned. I think I have gotten better instead of worse. It is fun to dance to Freddies music again. I sometimes warm up with different footwork patterns, the ones I have the most trouble with in the Solea. I practice them, with strong accents, over and over again to Freddies new falsetas, being moved by his music, trying to express it in my steps. I try to stay clean and to change the depth of the sound, loud and soft but always accented, always clean and crisp. We are still working on my counter rhythms too. We hooked the metronome up to the CD player for a loud sound that we could hear over my footwork and palmas. The studio is becoming nicer and nicer and the room has a wonderful energy. Whenever I walk into it I see the faces of old Spanish Gypsies looking at me from their frames on the wall. There are faces that I know now, like Concha Vargas and Miguel Funi and Teo Morca, who also watch me from the walls. Of course even the romantic photos of Freddie and myself together welcome me to dance. I feel so lucky to be in this habit of practicing a minimum of two hours every day.

We keep to our schedule in spite of the pull of coming back after three months away. There is much to do. We are correcting the various business details that went wrong or werent handled when we were away; we are still unpacking as well as preparing for Christmas. But even with all this, we are making time to continue our practice. And there is a quiet joy in being just the two of us again, for a change. We enjoy each other so much. Of course we also enjoy our company too when they are here and we both look forward to hosting Concha and family this summer. And right now, it is our time of hibernation. Tonight is the longest night of the year, the winter solstice, and we celebrated it together with our music and dance. And I am so inspired dancing to Freddies beautiful music. He has emerged from his cocoon as a butterfly. He just needed to be home tending the roses and looking at the ocean and walking on our lush oriental carpets. Now his music is doing what he wants and I am so proud of him. And of course I always love listening to him practice and play. I am so lucky. I love him so much, my husband of a year and a half.

Sunday, December 23, 2001

My sacred dance studio is the heart of our property. It is located in the middle and the loft above it is the only two-story structure here. When I first moved here I journeyed to the spirit of the house and the land. I was told that they needed a lot of music and dance, something I was eager to honor. I did not realize then that I had chosen to put the studio in the middle, in the heart. But tonight, as we were practicing, it dawned on me, that yes, we are dancing and playing music in the heart of this land. How wonderful.

Tuesday, January 1, 2002

Happy New Year. May this one be better than last. I miss Spain, but Freddie and I are still practicing every day for at least two hours. New Years day we were in the studio for four hours. My footwork is getting better and cleaner. I have been working a lot on my upper body and making sure that I step exactly in comps. Today my contras were better too. I am trying to work on everything, but I really miss my dance classes. Freddie says that I am still improving and he is very excited about that.

Freddie has had some great breakthroughs and his playing is now much cleaner. I am helping him to put his Carlos falsetas in comps. It is harder and harder to dance to falsetas without accents and so Freddie is putting in good accents and the falsetas come alive. We are progressing, but still I miss Spain. Freddie is totally happy to be home.

Ryan and Christine are coming to visit us for four days on Sunday. Then they are returning to Spain this month. We look forward to seeing them. It is raining hard here today but we have a fire in the wood stove and the house is warm. It feels like we are wrapped in a cloud of mist and rain on top of the world.

We spent New Year’s Eve here by ourselves doing Flamenco. It was wonderful. We needed the quiet and solitude. Before that, we had a house full of people (Freddie’s family from LA) and we were exhausted. For Christmas we had my family (including Elun and Donna who flew out from New York) and Freddie’s mother and some friends. We had a nice time seeing people we love over the holidays. But, still I miss Spain.

I received an e-mail from Rubina that Conchas older brother just died from the same type of heart problems that killed her other brother this fall. That is a lot of death for one year, two brothers. Poor Concha. I wish I could be there to help.

And so our lives continue into the New Year of 2002.

SPAIN CHRONICLES 2002

Aug 31 – Sept 18 Writings & Photos
Sept 21 – Oct 6 Writings & Photos
Oct 7 – Nov 15 Writings & Photos
Freddie is very ill, but doing better!

Update on Freddie’s Health, Jan 14, 2003